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From an email dated 5/22/87…

By popular demand (and I mean demand), my version of someone else's version of someone else's version of a great cheese dip…

Ingredients

Proportions change every time I make it, so there are no set amounts.

Generally I'd use about: 3 large packages of cream cheese, one package of the velveta, two small cans of chopped peppers, a can — maybe two — of the chile, and the medium size jar of Pace (don't use the mild: that would be in the nature of a sin).

Mix it all together on the stove, or mix it and Nuke it.

It's pretty hard to make a bad batch, so don't be afraid to experiment! Then you can have your version of someone else's version of someone else's version of a great cheese dip…

From an email dated 5/26/87…

Tested a new variation to the “Critical Mass” Cheese Dip at a party this weekend (hope you all had a good weekend, too). All parties at the party agreed that the improvements really were (improvements).

Buy a small thin steak — fairly cheap (excuse me, inexpensive) piece of meat will do, because you're going to:

1. Chop (or slice 'n' dice) into itty bitty pieces.
2. Saute' in garlic butter (or whatever).

Meanwhile — at the same time you buy the meat (and probably all the other stuff as well) — buy three bunches of Green Onions.

While you're melting down the mass of cheese and sauteeing the meat:

1. Chop the onions into bitty pieces (not itty bitty).
2. When the meat's browned add it to the mass.
3. Add the onions at the last minute (so they're not cooked to death).

This makes the dip another order of magnitude better. It gives it some serious personality.

Try it, you like it!! Would I lie??